My cat

Last night, just sitting in my room, and mom hollers for me. Something is wrong with Sadie Mae, our cat. She couldn't walk. She used the bathroom on herself. Her tongue was hanging out of her mouth and there was spit on her mouth. I didn't know what was wrong with her. My mind instantly thought, "OMG, she's dying."

We've had Sadie Mae since I was 7. She is now 15 yrs. old. She was a HUGE part of my childhood. She was one to make me smile. So energetic and full of craziness. I remember me and my sis had bunkbeds once. I slept on top one night and I woke up, Sadie Mae was be sleeping with me. She made me feel safe and comfortable. I would make a "cave" out of covers and she would crawl in there and go back to sleep. Good times...good times..

Anyway, my mind kept telling me she's dying. I thought she was. It was late at night..around 8:00....and no vets were open. Except for one. It stays open all night for emergency care. I called and they asked about her condition and I told them what had happened. They told me to bring her in and they would do something for her and do blood work. They then asked how she was doing. I went to check, and she was drinking water and started eating. They told me to just keep a watch on her and take her to the vet tomorrow. (which is today).

I just heard from my mom and they have to keep her for the day. We can pick her up when they call. They had to sedate her because..well..she isn't friendly with a majority of people.

My heart is still hurting, though. I know she is getting older. She is losing weight, even though she eats quite a bit. And now that happened last night. Last night, I was begging her not to do this. "Please don't leave me. You can't. I need you here with me." Sadie Mae holds a very special place in my heart. She was my first cat ever. I can't cope with the thoughts that she is getting older and will die. I can't.

I'm attached to her. I love her. Losing people/animals that I care about hurt me to the core.

Also, these feelings of losing her (even though I haven't) has made me think of my papaw. He died when I was in 6th grade. I still can't really talk about his death. Well, the feelings surrounding it. My sis found out before me that papaw had died. I was "papaw girls". He was the only one in my family.who seemed to really care about me, mom, and sis.

He had a heartattack and spent months in the hospital. He was doing really good. He was writing alittle, talking, etc. His days run up at the hospital and they had to put him in a nursing home. His health...it dropped completely. Instead of getting better, he got worse. He caught some kind of virus. They had to transport him back to the hospital. Only...there wasn't much anyone could do. I wanted to see him. But i was too young to go into ICU. It killed me not being there for him. The doctors told my mom that he more than likely wouldn't get any better. He was suffering. Mom said she could tell. She had to make the decision to "pull the plug" as she said it that night. She got to hold him while he died. I wanted to be there. sooo, my mom told sis about it first. She knew she I would take it much harder. She came in my room and sat down. I could feel that something was wrong....horribly wrong..She didn't even have to tell me. I looked at her and said, "Mom, did papaw die?' She started crying. I was....numb...I just started crying..I felt a huge loss that night.

And last night when I thought she was dying, I felt as if I was losing someone else that was close to me and my heart. I didn't like it. It scared me. And I'm still scared. I don't want her to die. I hope they can do something that will help her.Money is tight, but i don't care. I will do what it takes...